A letter for future daughter

Dear future daughter,

  I am nineteen the day I'm writing this letter for you. You might be older or younger than I am now but it doesn't really matter.  It’s pretty weird for me because right now I'm having a hard time imagining myself as a mom. I’m not really sure what mom is supposed to look like but I'm sure that there are some non-negotiable elements of motherhood, if you will. Things like letting go of my selfishness, thinking of you first, and being there when you need me.   

  Again, I don’t know what motherhood really looks like, but I know what I’d like it to be. I want to be the mom you can turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to encourage. I want to be your biggest cheerleader and your most valued role model. I want to be by your side when  engaged, and the one you look to for help when you have your own baby. 

  In life, you don't always get what you want and things may not go as you originally planned, but I want you to know that it is not a necessary to have it all figured out now. That's just how it is. At this age, everything seems like the end of the world but trust me years from now, you will be laughing at yourself wondering why you worried that much. Don't forget to enjoy your present and remember that I will always, always have your back.

  My dearest, when the time comes, you will meet someone. He seems ordinary at the beginning but as time goes by, you will soon figure out that he was just, different. You begin to love every little things about him. The way he walks with his hands in his pocket, the sparkles in his eyes as he smiles and the way he's living his passion in football, video games etc.

 You will indeed grow strong feelings for him, you'll find yourself dancing in the room and imagining things you wanna do with him (which you're afraid to admit but that's okay).Then come this one day, you caught yourself asking "Is he the one?" I'm not saying that he is, nor I will say that he isn't. Because dear, neither I have the answer.

  

  Daughter, I won’t be perfect. I’ll break some of these promises sometimes. I might even lose my temper and yell. But I’ll make sure you know that no matter what, every minute of every day, I love you more than anything in the world, but right now I’m a mess, and I probably always will be. I’m still learning and trying to be the kind of woman you’ll be proud to have for a mom one day. And by the way, this is me when I was 2. Please tell me that you look exactly like your mum LOL

I love you, 

Ibu  

Mendekati redha

[ Janganlah kau bersikap lemah, dan janganlah kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang yang paling tinggi (darjatnya) jika kamu orang yang beriman. ]                

  Redha, berlapang dada dalam setiap perkara yang Allah berikan kepada kita. Tiada rasa terpaksa atau dipaksa bila buat apa yang Allah tetapkan dan berlapang dada dalam setiap kebaikan dan keburukan yang kita terima. 

Redha ialah apabila kita tidak lagi bertanya kenapa.

  Berbicara tentang redha, yang saya sendiri seakan masih tergagap berteka teki dengan hati. Yakinkah diri ini sudah benar-benar redha ? Bibir mudah menyebut redha, tapi hanya hati yang tahu payah. Mudah juga mendidik diri yang kadang ego kononnya aku redha. Tapi bila ujian datang lagi, terdetik di hati ya Allah kenapa aku ? 

  Bersangka baik lah dengan Allah. Menangis tak salah, sedih juga tak salah. Tapi senyum jangan dilupa, jangan pula ditinggal. 

Kemaskan langkahanmu, semoga terus istiqamah.

Diploma in Microbiology Part I

  Ever since the day I got the offer, my friends asked me to write a post regarding the course I'm pursuing but I can never really find time to write one. Now it's 5 am in the morning and since I got nothing else to do, I guess I'll start now.

  Now to answer your questions, yes I'm pursuing Diploma in Microbiology. Well, microbiology is the study of living organisms so basically I'm dealing with microorganisms on my daily basis (bacteria, virus, fungi etc). The course takes up to 6 semesters (including 4 months of industrial training) but I only finished up to semester 3 for now so I can't tell much sorry. And as for the requirement, you need to pass SPM and English subject with credits in :

1. Mathematics / Additional Mathematics
2. Chemistry 
3. Biology

    Being stupid as I am, I always thought bacteria, virus and fungi are the same thing LOL, But things get pretty interesting when I find out they are actually not. The thing that I love the most about microbiology is the fact that it requires lots of reading (and of course memorizing). And as I said reading, no you can't just depend on lecture notes. From now on, google is your bestfriend (I think this applies to all university students). Another thing is, it does not involve too much calculations. Excepts for semester 1, you will be dealing with pre calculus and as for the rest, you'll only be dealing with calculations in chemistry. Maka ketahuilah calculations in chemistry jauh lebih menyeronokkan. And of course, no physics HAHAHAHAHA I love my life.

  As for courses to pursue for degree, you do not need to worry much. For those who are interested in medic but didn't have the opportunity before, yes you are able to pursue degree in medicine. I, too plan to do so but lets see how it goes. Just a friendly reminder, pointer kena jaga ye dik. Sebaiknya 4 flat, nanti dorang hantar oversea (mak jah tak mampu T_T). Another options are degree in Biotech, Forensic, Medical Microbiology and such. As for Degree in Microbiology rasanya ada satu dekat UPM, dekat UiTM takde lagi. Dengar cerita coming soon kat Pilah juga LOL

   I'll update more on the study plan later on since I need to do it specifically so yes, it takes time, Till then, I hope this helps and take care.

Tour : Teluk Senangin

  I never see myself as an outdoor nor an indoor person. I am equally comfortable indoors & outdoors and I prefer a good mix of both. At some point of my life, I love being home. While at the other, I enjoy the beauty of nature.

  And I think there's no harm with it. Being an introvert as I already am, I prefer spending most of time in my room. It is not something to be proud of and I'm not saying that you should end up like me, no. I, too love spending time with my friends. All those crazy stuff and silly conversations. Girls just know how precious they are. 

As I said, I enjoy a little bit of both.

  Camping and jungle trekking is something I love to do with my family. It's like a simple yet perfect getaway for me. Well, why not ? Imagine those gorgeous turquoise water and nearly pristine sugar-white sand in front of you. The beauty of nature can simply capture attention, and I have no doubt on that. Just perfect, to avoid feelings.

Still counting ..

  One thing you need to know about me is, I'm not so good in making friends. Some said I was being antisocial all this while but the truth is my social skill sucks. I don't know how to keep the conversation going, how to come out with good jokes or even how to appear attractive. I'm too plain that most of the times I can just watch people slowly lose interest in me.

So basically, I have two best friends who I count on no matter what it is.

Yeap, you read it right. Two.

  I met them six years ago, on our first day in high school. And I love them since. During our school days, we were completely inseparable. It gets awkward if one of us didn't show up (since most of the time we skip school together HAHA) I won't forget how we cried together, giving each other advice and encouragement. How we tried our best to protect each other to the point of


''Kalau dia buat kau menangis lagi, memang aku tumbuk muka dia"


  It was kinda childish. But it feels good when you know at least there's someone out there who got your back all the time. Who would stay up till morning just to make sure that you're okay. I'm thankful that I have them.

  But now that we're all grown ups, we go for different paths. But surprisingly our friendship remains strong. Even though we haven't met nor talk to each other for months, things just didn't turn out awkward. We still laugh and share stories like the old times.

It's just that it's already time to be an adult. To take responsibility for ourselves.
May we achieve what we've been dreaming of in shaa Allah.

Tour : UiTM Kuala Pilah

I never thought sem break could be this boring so..


  Hi, selamat bertemu lagi bersama saya, pengacara anda. Untuk episod kali ini, saya akan membawa anda menerokai bumi Kuala Pilah, satu perkampungan yang membawa kejutan demi kejutan.Sebaik kru kami menjejakkan kaki ke sini, kami disajikan dengan pemandangan yang menghijau serta aroma tahi kerbau yang menusuk di sepanjang jalan. Satu pengalaman yang cukup unik bagi kami.

   Memasuki perkarangan UiTM Negeri Sembilan kampus Beting, jelas kelihatan betapa gahnya banggunan yang berdiri selama beberapa tahun ini. Kedatangan kami disambut dengan senyuman manis pakcik polis bantuan yang bertugas serta polis bantuan wanita yang tidak kurang manisnya lulz.

  Pemandangan yang cukup memukau setiap mata memandang. Banggunan pentadiran yang menempatkan  satu-satunya fakulti di sini iaitu Fakulti Sains Gunaan ini terletak kira-kira 200m dari kolej kediaman. Jarak yang dekat membolehkan para pelajar berjalan kaki ke kelas (sekaligus mengurangkan risiko obesiti).

  Kolej kediaman yang terdiri dari 10 buah blok ini menempatkan ribuan pelajar. Setiap unit rumah disini mempunyai 3 buah bilik dan setiap bilik menempatkan 2 orang pelajar. Akan tetapi jika anda termasuk dalam golongan loner macam saya, anda akan ditempatkan di ruang tamu (RT).


Syahdu.

  Beralih kepada tempat pengajaran dan pembelajaran (P&P) diadakan, kami agak kagum dengan kemudahan yang sedia ada. Pastinya segala kemudahan seperti penghawa dingin ini membantu dalam mewujudkan suasana belajar yang kondusif untuk pelajar.

Aah kondusif sangat zzzz.

Matriculation vs Diploma vs Form 6 : A struggle for better future

  I'm pretty sure everyone will go through this hard time deciding a place to further studies after SPM ended. I, too almost lose my mind. I tell you what, usually people around you is the biggest influence to your decision. Or in my case, my friends.

"Weh kau pandai masuklah matriks"

"Weh kau tak pandai meh lah ambil diploma ke form 6"

  We need to get rid of this kind of perception but until the miracle happen, you'll get used to this just like I did. To cut the crap, let me share my personal opinion regarding this.

I was happy too, just before I realized how cruel the world is :(

  Lets start with matriculation, the shortcut. By the word shortcut, yes you'll be struggling with time. 8 hours of class a day, with tutorial classes and lectures. That's why you are able to pursue your degree in 1 or 2 years. Basically you're having 4 subjects that you need to excel in. Sounds easy but it's not. The syllabus for matriculation and form 6 is almost the same. For those who can cope with the stress, you are welcomed here. But for those who can't, there's other options out there so don't worry.

  The next option is diploma. This is where you'll be introduced to university life. Diploma is quite specified and in my case, it helps me a lot to choose which course to pursue in degree. So it took basically 3 years but don't worry about it because you'll be able to complete your degree in only 2 years. The syllabus ? Well for my course, you'll be taking 7 or 8 subjects every semesters and to maintain your performance for 5 semesters ain't that easy man. It still need effort.

  Last but not least, it's form 6. You'll spend 3 semester in school, taking STPM exam and stuff. This is also considered as the shortcut to degree, thus you'll be struggling with time and those 4/5 subjects that you took. And no, you shouldn't look down at them because STPM is one of the toughest exams in Asia but if you excel in the exams, you'll be able to pursue degree in short time. So I guess this is all I got. No matter what your decision is, always remember that at the end of the day, it's you who are going to decide. People will always compare but as long as you love what you're doing, don't bother if people kept on degrading you.

Review : Andai Itu Takdirnya

  Some of you may not know, I'm not into books. Well I didn't literally was born to hate reading but as I grow up, I learnt that most novels are quite the same. Same dramas , same conflicts, same happy endings, or should I say

Cliche.

  But recently I came to read this novel, a Malay novel entitled Andai ItuTakdirnya. Yeah, it came out years ago, I'm so lame I know LOL. 

  Okay, so about the storyline ? Still cliche like the others, but somehow it managed to make me cry. Yeap, I did. Reading it made me think for a second "Does people like this really exists ? Like come on, watak suami Aleeya tu kejam sangat kot'' But then I came to my sense. We're living in a world full of beasts, people are getting mean and ignorant nowadays.

It's pretty sad isn't it ?

Ambition of mine

  I have been living for like 19 years now, and not even once have I ever plan anything in life. I guess I'm just that type. Instead, I'll simply just go with the flow, anywhere the destiny brings me to. Well, the main reason is because *drumrolls*

I'm afraid of disappointment. 

Yes I do.

  Can't you see this innocent little girl is afraid ? HAHA, but now I have this urge to write because it seems like everyone got something in mind. Most of them already know what they want in life. Everyone but me. So, lets start with the courses I'm considering to pursue in my degree. Yeah, it's a long way to go but hey it's the effort that counts.

  The first choice is Sarjana Muda Sains dengan Kepujian (Biologi). The pros is I love biology so much if it was to compare with Chemistry and Physics. Thus, I can save up to a year and graduate at the age of 24 or so. The cons is I bet the competition is quite tough. Thus, I have a back up plan which is Ijazah Sarjana Muda Pembedahan Pergigian or in other words, dentistry. But I gotta go through 10 semesters, which equals to 5 years. And this one too is not gonna be easy man I'm sure. 

  Well to decide which course suits me the best, I gotta know myself first. I need to know what I wanna be in future (which I don't at this moment). I fell in love with laws a long time ago but I guess it isn't for me. Then, I wanted to be doctor/veterinarian but considering how clumsy I am, my parents just won't let me. They wanted me to be a teacher instead. Being a teacher is good, but yeah I get bored easily. 

And I don't like people much LOL. 

End of semester 2

  Alhamdulillah, my second semester has already come to an end yay ! Well truth to be told, it ended last month lagi hehehehe. I learnt a lot this semester, I met a lot of beautiful people too. Sure there are ups and downs, I laughed, I cried but most of all I'm growing up. 

  I remember how I met these beautiful ladies, how I spent most of my time with them watching movies, having silly conversations and laughing my ass off. They're such a lovely housemate and I love them to bits. Unfortunately I won't be seeing some of them around next sem since they are moving to Tapah and Jasin.

  I won't forget how I woke up one morning, seeing Mumtaz painting/decorating her calculator although it's study week and everyone is studying real hard. I won't forget how Aina's face turns red when I tease her and her fiancee. I won't forget the fierce Nana. And I won't forget how sweet Wana's boyfriend to buy us food to eat together.But most of all, I won't forget how Malis and I used to tease eah other. Like a lot. She's a sweet person and she kept convincing me that I am too. Please, do take good care of yourself there.

  I won't forget how Midi, Hairul and Izu brought us le girls (Lidya, Dee and Me) to this place. It was indeed a beautiful getaway. I miss being here. Exploring Nogori Sombilan like there's no tomorrow HAHA

 Nor I will forget going to Majlis Anugerah Dekan with my beloved classmates. 

  Thank you dee, yana, hana, myn, lidya, mira, ali, hairul, midi and izu. Thank you for all these sweet memories. May we see each other next semester. Till then, take care and have fun while you can. Third sem is gonna be hellish one you could never forget.